Do What??

“Do you want to move to Dubai?”  Bob came home with the question over Memorial Day weekend.  He’d been offered a neat position with his company in the United Arab Emirate famous for its unique architecture and Western-friendly business climate.  After making lists, shedding tears, and doing research, we decided as a family that if we found a good school situation for our daughters, the experience would be incredible.

Other families have similar priorities.   We were told that any Dubai school with an “American” curriculum had stopped accepting applications for next year, because their classes were full with long waiting lists.  So on June 8^th, we boarded a plane to Dubai, in order for the girls to interview and test for the few available spots in international schools. 

Through an online women’s network, I found an education consultant who helped us locate schools which would best serve our kids.  Fiona steered us toward Jumeira Baccalaureate School, a two-year-old International Baccalaureate school with a staff of master teachers and excellent leadership.  They graciously welcomed our girls (who are both terrific students as well as nice people).  Many prayers have been answered, as this appears to be a wonderful fit for our family.

So my blog is destined to become a “Dubai diary,” looking at human interactions from a new perspective.  All the sociology and anthropology courses I took in college seemed quite relevant as we observed the mash-up of cultures in the Dubai malls.  (Imagine a Paris fashion store packed with female shoppers in black ‘abayas.’) 

Dubai is a modern Constantinople, a trade center near the intersection of three continents, with people from many countries and cultures living together.  Our daughters will represent America in their international classrooms. 

I love the way such exposure to diversity teaches us about ourselves.  Encounters with other ways of thinking, dressing, worshipping, etc. makes you see your own customs more clearly.  Differences can feel threatening until you get used to them.  Or they can be funny.  For example, Emirates Airlines allows you to bring your hunting falcon “hooded and tethered of course” into the cabin as accompanied baggage, but dogs may only fly to Dubai as cargo.  Is this a matter of practicality or different priorities?   We certainly wouldn’t want our asthmatic Shih Tzu becoming falcon fodder in either section of the plane!

I’ve understood the meaning of “head spinning” news over the last month.  (Actually checked the neck tethers a few times to be sure I couldn’t do an Exorcist imitation.  And my family would tell you I’ve seemed a tad possessed….)  But now that the most important decisions are made, we are settling into a busy summer of cleaning out, packing up, and saying good-bye, so we can say ‘hello’ to Dubai at the end of August.

Expensive Amendment hurts every One

My humble opinion simply stated, published in the Rhino Times last week:

In the haste to marginalize a minority group of human beings and increase big government interference in our personal lives, NC legislators wrote Amendment One using “vague and untested language” that will create a legal and social quagmire if it passes.  Thousands of unmarried adults, children, and teens are likely to lose:
·        health insurance
·        statutory protections against domestic violence
·        consideration of “children’s best interests” in custody cases
·        family privileges in medical crises

Many NC couples are not married for personal, financial, or legal reasons.  By making their relationships legally invalid and unrecognizable, Amendment One would create enormous problems for them, our social systems, and family courts. Millions of taxpayer dollars would be paid to attorneys instead of improving our state’s infrastructure, education system, job outlook, etc.

Please research the facts about Amendment One, and join leaders from every political persuasion in voting against it.

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The Rhino editor added a comment about Idaho passing an identical amendment with no ill-effects.  I think he was quoting a study by Campbell University professors which has been discounted by family law professors from every law school in NC (including Campbell's).  See http://www.protectncfamilies.org/news/north-carolina-family-law-professors-speak-out-against-amendment-one

Idaho does appear to have had negative consequences from their marriage amendment.  One source I read said that state employees did lose partner health benefits.  And here is proof that attorneys have had to debate, answer questions, etc., all at the expense of Idaho taxpayers:  http://thecritui.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/Brandt3.pdf    This source also notes some of the consequences experienced in Michigan.

I stand by my statements.  I like Marriage, but Amendment One is bad for NC.

Dating Would Be More Dangerous Under Amendment One

Married couples don’t start that way.  And the path to matrimony is full of potential dangers. 

No matter how careful one is, the acquaintance date or long-term partner can become abusive.   Scary situations have become so common that teens now attend seminars on dating violence. 

This is why NC has domestic violence laws which defend unmarried people, from teenagers on their first date to cohabitating senior citizens, against physical abuse, sexual assault, and stalking.   Restraining orders and other legal tools acknowledge that abuse in a romantic relationship differs from other kinds of aggression.

But if it passes, NC Amendment One is likely to prohibit legal recognition of any dating relationships.  This would take away our court system’s ability to enforce domestic violence protections unless a couple is married.  (See: http://tinyurl.com/6qpastw pp. 14-18)  

Abusers will get off the hook and out of jail, as they have in other states (like Ohio) passing similar amendments.  And every potential abuser will know this.

Amendment One would remove an important legal safety net for all unmarried NC residents, including our teenagers.  My daughters will begin to run the dating gauntlet very soon.  For their safety as well as that of every other unmarried person in this state, I hope it does not pass.

Amendment One Endangers NC Families

Disguised as a referendum on gay marriage, the Domestic Legal Union Amendment threatens to take away legal and financial protections from every “non-traditional” family and unmarried person in NC.  It is guaranteed to generate much work for attorneys, as well as heartache and expense for the rest of us.

 A documented study by UNC law professors, available at http://tinyurl.com/6qpastw, shows that children, single women, and unmarried couples (straight and gay) have all suffered from the effects of similar amendments in other states. 

NC children involved in custody disputes could have their ‘best interests’ superseded by Amendment One if their parents’ relationships are not ‘valid or recognized’ in family court.  This might cause loving parents to lose custody or visitation rights.  The threat of such action would undermine the security of every child with divorced or unmarried parents.

Women are the majority of the victims of domestic violence.  NC laws against domestic violence and stalking require legal recognition of a relationship (such as dating) between victim and abuser.  As Amendment One would only allow ‘traditional marriage’ relationships to be recognized by our legal system, unmarried persons would probably lose protections provided by these laws.  In Ohio, convicted abusers were even released from prison after passage of an amendment like ours.

Modern couples have many reasons why they do not choose traditional marriage.  Amendment One is designed to punish all unmarried couples and their families by destabilizing their finances, obstructing legal agreements, and barring them from supporting one another through major illness. 

Wherever there is a possibility of legally recognizing or validating a couple’s relationship, the Domestic Legal Union Amendment will encourage government agencies to interfere in our private lives. 

Please join me in voting against Amendment One on May 8.

Amendment One Dangerous and Misleading

I did not like Amendment One from the beginning because of its mean-spirited intentions.  But this editorial really started me thinking.  Then I read the report it is based on (link below), and got excited.  More to come.

 

From the Greensboro News & Record, Saturday, February 18, 2012

 

By the Rev. Pam Strader
 

The May 8 referendum to amend the N.C. Constitution “to provide that marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that will be valid or recognized in this state” is misleading. State law already defines marriage as between “a male and a female” (N.C. General Statute 51, Article 1, 51-1). To change the state constitution is a drastic act that should only be done to ensure citizens’ “safety and happiness ... and consistently with the Constitution of the United States” (Article 1, Declaration of Rights, Section 3).

Instead of protecting the safety of our citizens, Amendment One would do great harm. In a paper titled “Potential Legal Impact of the Proposed Domestic Legal Union Amendment to the North Carolina Constitution” (http://tinyurl.com/6qpastw), legal experts warn that because the bill’s language is vague and untested, “two things are clear: First, it will take courts years of litigation to settle the Amendment’s meaning. Second, when the dust clears, unmarried couples will have fewer rights over their most important life decisions than they would have had otherwise.”

Amendment One will affect all unmarried couples and children in those households, including domestic violence protections, child custody, wills, medical directives if a partner is suddenly incapacitated, and insurance coverage for families of some public employees.

It will stir up litigation that North Carolina neither needs nor can afford. As voters, it is our responsibility to uphold the Constitution in its role to protect the safety, liberty and pursuit of happiness of North Carolina citizens. Passage of similar amendments in other states has resulted in some disastrous and lethal consequences to human lives.

Let us do no harm, and let us not be indifferent to the harm this would do. Please vote “no” to Amendment One on May 8.

The writer lives in Greensboro and is an associate pastor at West Market Street United Methodist Church

Charter School Bill Expensive, Unnecessary

The Republican-controlled NC legislature wants to “fix” our public schools by bringing in 50 new charter schools per year with its latest education bill.  But critics note that while 17% of charter schools perform better than the average public school, a larger percentage are worse.  And starting costly new schools in the midst of the Great Recession is not fiscally prudent.

Many charter schools are designed to 'handpick' students, and their policies cater to two-parent, affluent households.  Teachers do not have to be certified, and questionable teaching or discipline practices do not have the oversight of public school administrators. While the charter bill does include a new NC Charter School Commission (to act independently of the Department of Public Instruction), it will not determine local policy. 

The expense of setting up NC’s new charter schools and commission will bleed our state’s already-shriveling public school dollars, including transportation budget, child nutrition money, and even a percentage of public school fundraisers.  This bill also gives counties new taxing authority, “up to a combined rate of one dollar and fifty cents ($1.50) on the one hundred dollars ($100.00) appraised value of property subject to taxation” to help charters build capital.

Legal challenges to the Charter Cap bill are anticipated to cost millions of dollars, further bankrupting our state and our children’s educations. 

Despite No Child Left Behind’s destructive testing standards and labels, NC’s public schools are not broken.  In fact, the recently adopted Common Core Standards should increase academic rigor, and a proposed update to NCLB will measure student progress to better illustrate successful teaching strategies.  NC does not need the ‘fix’ or expense of raising the Charter cap.

During tough economic times, fiscally conservative child advocates should work together to improve the schools we have, not throw them out and buy new ones.  

The President Responds

January 13, 2011 Dear Friend: Thank you for sharing your thoughts on education.  I appreciate hearing from you.  I am committed to providing the best possible education for our Nation's students because our children deserve it and because, today more than ever, America's prosperity rests on how well we educate them. Across the country, we have many great schools and dedicated teachers.  We should be proud of these successes, and eager to discover and support what makes them great.  We must also realize that not all children get the education they deserve, and many schools need urgent reform to better help our students reach their full potential.  Through the Recovery Act, my Administration has made a historic investment toward improving public education and providing greater access to a complete and competitive education for every child.  This investment will make high-quality, early learning programs available to more young children.  The Recovery Act will also help strengthen the teaching profession by recognizing talented teachers who improve learning and by encouraging them to stay in the schools that need them most.  We are committed to exploring innovative approaches that advance teaching and learning through high standards and expectations for all students, and to developing meaningful assessments.  These steps can ensure our graduates are prepared for success both in their higher education and careers.  A child's education does not begin and end with a school bell, and responsibility must extend beyond a school's walls.  Our future success depends on a greater level of engagement between parents, communities, and schools on behalf of children.  We all share the duty to educate our students, and if we hold them to the highest standards, they will meet them.  Please join me online to read more at:  http://www.whitehouse.gov/agenda/education. Sincerely, Barack Obama   Comment - OK, it's a form letter.  But it's nice to know what happens when you write to the president, isn't it?        ~Sharon