Abra Cadabra

Good news - My blogger instructions had switched to Arabic, but I found a link to go back to English.  5 Weeks between blog posts is too long, so I'm going to stop treating this like a work of art, and post pictures for you. I'll include the finer edited posts as they pass inspection...

 

Visiting the Old Souks Requires Crossing Deira Creek on an Abra!



This super-cooling hat from the Columbia outlet was a lifesaver in the heat,
but the girls don't think it looks very 'cool.'  Tough.

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Pulling up to the old Textile Souk

Bob checking e-mails as usual (it wasn't a holiday in the US).  My fashion police.

Gorgeous spices in the souk.  The whole area smells like sweet curry.

 

We've had a number of unexpected holidays this fall, which has given everyone time to see a few sights between school and work. We spent a day at the old souk (market) section of town.  Visitor guides always rave about the gold souk nearby, but one jewelry store is much like another.  I think the spice and textile souks are more interesting.

 

Bob preferred the abra ride for two reasons: 1. It's a boat.  2. The cost for a ride is one dirham (about 27 cents) per person.

 

The monetary unit of the UAE is the dirham, which looks like a US quarter.  Some people pronounce this word like Durham, NC, which gets shortened to 'dirum.'  I like the pronunciation used by many natives of the Indian subcontinent (who make up the majority of the expats in Dubai).  They call it a 'deerhem' with a soft roll on the r.  I can almost do it, and this annoys my daughters greatly, so I practice it often!  For 10 dirhams, you can get a year's supply of most spices in the souk, 3 vanilla beans, or a Tablespoon of saffron.  You can also pay more or less, depending on your haggling skills.

The Dubai Blog Begins: No Wrong Turns

Our summer was dramatic, traumatic, systematic…hydromatic…and it flew by like greased lightning!  (Someone should write a song.)  On May 25, we began considering a move to Dubai, and on August 25, we boarded a plane.  During the twelve intervening weeks, we took three week-long trips:  one to Dubai to look at schools, one pre-scheduled trip to Nags Head with my brother’s family, and one to Kansas so our snub-nosed (can’t fly) dog could move in with Bob’s wonderful sister.  We put our house on the market, which meant three major house projects and several minor ones (any of which would have used up an entire normal-summer’s energies).  And we did the paperwork, packing, and purging needed to get us and a house-full of stuff across an ocean and a sea or two.  I went down a pants’ size - no kidding.  (Kids, do not try this at home; I absolutely do not recommend literally working your behind off!)

But somehow we got here with most of our belongings, sanity, health, and marriage intact.  Family members and friends gave us logistical support and moral encouragement all summer.  My yoga class and writing group even held extra meetings just to keep me going.  And our relatives and neighbors are still helping us tie up loose ends and keep NC connections intact. 

We spent the first six weeks living in a small ‘serviced apartment’ in a high-rise hotel overlooking the Burj Khalifa (tallest building in the world) on one side and the Arabian Gulf in the distance on the other.  We found a house to rent the first week, but had to wait for Bob’s residence visa to be processed before we could do much but shop or go to school and work.  Then in the course of 10 days, we rented the house and bought two cars, a refrigerator, ‘cooker,’ dishwasher, washing machine, dryer, used bed, two large beanbag chairs for the girls to sleep in, kitchen table and chairs, dishes, the all-important television set, and various smaller items to get us through until our shipment arrived from North Carolina.  We like to think we don’t need all the stuff and trappings that clutter our houses, but living without pillows and towels is not much fun!  The hardest thing to find here was reasonably priced, comfortable sheets.  Coming from the textile state of NC, we realized we are spoiled!

Our daughters started school September 2, and seem to be doing well.  Beth had the biggest adjustment, moving in 11^th grade from a standard American curriculum to a more rigorous International Baccalaureate program.  We’re identifying a few gaps in her science preparation, but the bookworm is well-prepared for English, Math, and History classes.  Both girls are starting as beginners in both French and Arabic, but enjoying their lessons, and finding that a background in Spanish doesn’t hurt their ability to learn another Latin offshoot.  Carlee doesn’t have the same 11^th grade pressure as Beth, and seems to be a happy sponge, soaking in all the new information and personalities.  Both girls represent America well in their international classrooms.

Since we got here, I’ve gradually moved from survival mode (food, shelter, air conditioning and school supplies) to getting my bearings in this new city.  Bob and I have adopted a philosophy that there are no wrong turns, only roads we haven’t explored yet, and new territory to discover.  Like Christopher Columbus, we approach this adventure with faith that things will turn out okay if not terrific, and we’ll learn more about ourselves and the world.  The girls think we are in denial when we are lost, but they like it when we find ice cream.

Do What??

“Do you want to move to Dubai?”  Bob came home with the question over Memorial Day weekend.  He’d been offered a neat position with his company in the United Arab Emirate famous for its unique architecture and Western-friendly business climate.  After making lists, shedding tears, and doing research, we decided as a family that if we found a good school situation for our daughters, the experience would be incredible.

Other families have similar priorities.   We were told that any Dubai school with an “American” curriculum had stopped accepting applications for next year, because their classes were full with long waiting lists.  So on June 8^th, we boarded a plane to Dubai, in order for the girls to interview and test for the few available spots in international schools. 

Through an online women’s network, I found an education consultant who helped us locate schools which would best serve our kids.  Fiona steered us toward Jumeira Baccalaureate School, a two-year-old International Baccalaureate school with a staff of master teachers and excellent leadership.  They graciously welcomed our girls (who are both terrific students as well as nice people).  Many prayers have been answered, as this appears to be a wonderful fit for our family.

So my blog is destined to become a “Dubai diary,” looking at human interactions from a new perspective.  All the sociology and anthropology courses I took in college seemed quite relevant as we observed the mash-up of cultures in the Dubai malls.  (Imagine a Paris fashion store packed with female shoppers in black ‘abayas.’) 

Dubai is a modern Constantinople, a trade center near the intersection of three continents, with people from many countries and cultures living together.  Our daughters will represent America in their international classrooms. 

I love the way such exposure to diversity teaches us about ourselves.  Encounters with other ways of thinking, dressing, worshipping, etc. makes you see your own customs more clearly.  Differences can feel threatening until you get used to them.  Or they can be funny.  For example, Emirates Airlines allows you to bring your hunting falcon “hooded and tethered of course” into the cabin as accompanied baggage, but dogs may only fly to Dubai as cargo.  Is this a matter of practicality or different priorities?   We certainly wouldn’t want our asthmatic Shih Tzu becoming falcon fodder in either section of the plane!

I’ve understood the meaning of “head spinning” news over the last month.  (Actually checked the neck tethers a few times to be sure I couldn’t do an Exorcist imitation.  And my family would tell you I’ve seemed a tad possessed….)  But now that the most important decisions are made, we are settling into a busy summer of cleaning out, packing up, and saying good-bye, so we can say ‘hello’ to Dubai at the end of August.

Expensive Amendment hurts every One

My humble opinion simply stated, published in the Rhino Times last week:

In the haste to marginalize a minority group of human beings and increase big government interference in our personal lives, NC legislators wrote Amendment One using “vague and untested language” that will create a legal and social quagmire if it passes.  Thousands of unmarried adults, children, and teens are likely to lose:
·        health insurance
·        statutory protections against domestic violence
·        consideration of “children’s best interests” in custody cases
·        family privileges in medical crises

Many NC couples are not married for personal, financial, or legal reasons.  By making their relationships legally invalid and unrecognizable, Amendment One would create enormous problems for them, our social systems, and family courts. Millions of taxpayer dollars would be paid to attorneys instead of improving our state’s infrastructure, education system, job outlook, etc.

Please research the facts about Amendment One, and join leaders from every political persuasion in voting against it.

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The Rhino editor added a comment about Idaho passing an identical amendment with no ill-effects.  I think he was quoting a study by Campbell University professors which has been discounted by family law professors from every law school in NC (including Campbell's).  See http://www.protectncfamilies.org/news/north-carolina-family-law-professors-speak-out-against-amendment-one

Idaho does appear to have had negative consequences from their marriage amendment.  One source I read said that state employees did lose partner health benefits.  And here is proof that attorneys have had to debate, answer questions, etc., all at the expense of Idaho taxpayers:  http://thecritui.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/Brandt3.pdf    This source also notes some of the consequences experienced in Michigan.

I stand by my statements.  I like Marriage, but Amendment One is bad for NC.

Dating Would Be More Dangerous Under Amendment One

Married couples don’t start that way.  And the path to matrimony is full of potential dangers. 

No matter how careful one is, the acquaintance date or long-term partner can become abusive.   Scary situations have become so common that teens now attend seminars on dating violence. 

This is why NC has domestic violence laws which defend unmarried people, from teenagers on their first date to cohabitating senior citizens, against physical abuse, sexual assault, and stalking.   Restraining orders and other legal tools acknowledge that abuse in a romantic relationship differs from other kinds of aggression.

But if it passes, NC Amendment One is likely to prohibit legal recognition of any dating relationships.  This would take away our court system’s ability to enforce domestic violence protections unless a couple is married.  (See: http://tinyurl.com/6qpastw pp. 14-18)  

Abusers will get off the hook and out of jail, as they have in other states (like Ohio) passing similar amendments.  And every potential abuser will know this.

Amendment One would remove an important legal safety net for all unmarried NC residents, including our teenagers.  My daughters will begin to run the dating gauntlet very soon.  For their safety as well as that of every other unmarried person in this state, I hope it does not pass.

Amendment One Endangers NC Families

Disguised as a referendum on gay marriage, the Domestic Legal Union Amendment threatens to take away legal and financial protections from every “non-traditional” family and unmarried person in NC.  It is guaranteed to generate much work for attorneys, as well as heartache and expense for the rest of us.

 A documented study by UNC law professors, available at http://tinyurl.com/6qpastw, shows that children, single women, and unmarried couples (straight and gay) have all suffered from the effects of similar amendments in other states. 

NC children involved in custody disputes could have their ‘best interests’ superseded by Amendment One if their parents’ relationships are not ‘valid or recognized’ in family court.  This might cause loving parents to lose custody or visitation rights.  The threat of such action would undermine the security of every child with divorced or unmarried parents.

Women are the majority of the victims of domestic violence.  NC laws against domestic violence and stalking require legal recognition of a relationship (such as dating) between victim and abuser.  As Amendment One would only allow ‘traditional marriage’ relationships to be recognized by our legal system, unmarried persons would probably lose protections provided by these laws.  In Ohio, convicted abusers were even released from prison after passage of an amendment like ours.

Modern couples have many reasons why they do not choose traditional marriage.  Amendment One is designed to punish all unmarried couples and their families by destabilizing their finances, obstructing legal agreements, and barring them from supporting one another through major illness. 

Wherever there is a possibility of legally recognizing or validating a couple’s relationship, the Domestic Legal Union Amendment will encourage government agencies to interfere in our private lives. 

Please join me in voting against Amendment One on May 8.

Amendment One Dangerous and Misleading

I did not like Amendment One from the beginning because of its mean-spirited intentions.  But this editorial really started me thinking.  Then I read the report it is based on (link below), and got excited.  More to come.

 

From the Greensboro News & Record, Saturday, February 18, 2012

 

By the Rev. Pam Strader
 

The May 8 referendum to amend the N.C. Constitution “to provide that marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that will be valid or recognized in this state” is misleading. State law already defines marriage as between “a male and a female” (N.C. General Statute 51, Article 1, 51-1). To change the state constitution is a drastic act that should only be done to ensure citizens’ “safety and happiness ... and consistently with the Constitution of the United States” (Article 1, Declaration of Rights, Section 3).

Instead of protecting the safety of our citizens, Amendment One would do great harm. In a paper titled “Potential Legal Impact of the Proposed Domestic Legal Union Amendment to the North Carolina Constitution” (http://tinyurl.com/6qpastw), legal experts warn that because the bill’s language is vague and untested, “two things are clear: First, it will take courts years of litigation to settle the Amendment’s meaning. Second, when the dust clears, unmarried couples will have fewer rights over their most important life decisions than they would have had otherwise.”

Amendment One will affect all unmarried couples and children in those households, including domestic violence protections, child custody, wills, medical directives if a partner is suddenly incapacitated, and insurance coverage for families of some public employees.

It will stir up litigation that North Carolina neither needs nor can afford. As voters, it is our responsibility to uphold the Constitution in its role to protect the safety, liberty and pursuit of happiness of North Carolina citizens. Passage of similar amendments in other states has resulted in some disastrous and lethal consequences to human lives.

Let us do no harm, and let us not be indifferent to the harm this would do. Please vote “no” to Amendment One on May 8.

The writer lives in Greensboro and is an associate pastor at West Market Street United Methodist Church