Dating Would Be More Dangerous Under Amendment One

Married couples don’t start that way.  And the path to matrimony is full of potential dangers. 

No matter how careful one is, the acquaintance date or long-term partner can become abusive.   Scary situations have become so common that teens now attend seminars on dating violence. 

This is why NC has domestic violence laws which defend unmarried people, from teenagers on their first date to cohabitating senior citizens, against physical abuse, sexual assault, and stalking.   Restraining orders and other legal tools acknowledge that abuse in a romantic relationship differs from other kinds of aggression.

But if it passes, NC Amendment One is likely to prohibit legal recognition of any dating relationships.  This would take away our court system’s ability to enforce domestic violence protections unless a couple is married.  (See: http://tinyurl.com/6qpastw pp. 14-18)  

Abusers will get off the hook and out of jail, as they have in other states (like Ohio) passing similar amendments.  And every potential abuser will know this.

Amendment One would remove an important legal safety net for all unmarried NC residents, including our teenagers.  My daughters will begin to run the dating gauntlet very soon.  For their safety as well as that of every other unmarried person in this state, I hope it does not pass.

Amendment One Endangers NC Families

Disguised as a referendum on gay marriage, the Domestic Legal Union Amendment threatens to take away legal and financial protections from every “non-traditional” family and unmarried person in NC.  It is guaranteed to generate much work for attorneys, as well as heartache and expense for the rest of us.

 A documented study by UNC law professors, available at http://tinyurl.com/6qpastw, shows that children, single women, and unmarried couples (straight and gay) have all suffered from the effects of similar amendments in other states. 

NC children involved in custody disputes could have their ‘best interests’ superseded by Amendment One if their parents’ relationships are not ‘valid or recognized’ in family court.  This might cause loving parents to lose custody or visitation rights.  The threat of such action would undermine the security of every child with divorced or unmarried parents.

Women are the majority of the victims of domestic violence.  NC laws against domestic violence and stalking require legal recognition of a relationship (such as dating) between victim and abuser.  As Amendment One would only allow ‘traditional marriage’ relationships to be recognized by our legal system, unmarried persons would probably lose protections provided by these laws.  In Ohio, convicted abusers were even released from prison after passage of an amendment like ours.

Modern couples have many reasons why they do not choose traditional marriage.  Amendment One is designed to punish all unmarried couples and their families by destabilizing their finances, obstructing legal agreements, and barring them from supporting one another through major illness. 

Wherever there is a possibility of legally recognizing or validating a couple’s relationship, the Domestic Legal Union Amendment will encourage government agencies to interfere in our private lives. 

Please join me in voting against Amendment One on May 8.

Amendment One Dangerous and Misleading

I did not like Amendment One from the beginning because of its mean-spirited intentions.  But this editorial really started me thinking.  Then I read the report it is based on (link below), and got excited.  More to come.

 

From the Greensboro News & Record, Saturday, February 18, 2012

 

By the Rev. Pam Strader
 

The May 8 referendum to amend the N.C. Constitution “to provide that marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that will be valid or recognized in this state” is misleading. State law already defines marriage as between “a male and a female” (N.C. General Statute 51, Article 1, 51-1). To change the state constitution is a drastic act that should only be done to ensure citizens’ “safety and happiness ... and consistently with the Constitution of the United States” (Article 1, Declaration of Rights, Section 3).

Instead of protecting the safety of our citizens, Amendment One would do great harm. In a paper titled “Potential Legal Impact of the Proposed Domestic Legal Union Amendment to the North Carolina Constitution” (http://tinyurl.com/6qpastw), legal experts warn that because the bill’s language is vague and untested, “two things are clear: First, it will take courts years of litigation to settle the Amendment’s meaning. Second, when the dust clears, unmarried couples will have fewer rights over their most important life decisions than they would have had otherwise.”

Amendment One will affect all unmarried couples and children in those households, including domestic violence protections, child custody, wills, medical directives if a partner is suddenly incapacitated, and insurance coverage for families of some public employees.

It will stir up litigation that North Carolina neither needs nor can afford. As voters, it is our responsibility to uphold the Constitution in its role to protect the safety, liberty and pursuit of happiness of North Carolina citizens. Passage of similar amendments in other states has resulted in some disastrous and lethal consequences to human lives.

Let us do no harm, and let us not be indifferent to the harm this would do. Please vote “no” to Amendment One on May 8.

The writer lives in Greensboro and is an associate pastor at West Market Street United Methodist Church